


Say Goodbye

by HMSquared



Series: Split [3]
Category: jacksepticeye
Genre: Depression, M/M, Pining, Suicide, Suicide is NEVER an answer, Tearjerker, Time Jump, kind of, read the author's note, recovering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 22:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17734217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HMSquared/pseuds/HMSquared
Summary: Anti attempts to confess his feelings for Jack, and everything goes wildly downhill.





	Say Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know, the Mark panel happened before Anti was created, but I can move time. Also...I feel slightly bad about Jack's suicide comment. It's an unfair situation portrayed in movies way too often.
> 
> If you are depressed, suicide is never the answer. There will always be someone you can talk to.
> 
> Enjoy.
> 
> (Fun fact: this was the first Jacksepticeye idea I ever came up with, I just hadn't written it until now.)

Jack stood backstage, getting mic'd up for his appearance in Mark's "Markiplier and Friends" panel. It was going to be an exciting night, full of fun and games, but most importantly, their lives were going to change forever. Kind of.

Anti was in the shadows, watching. People didn't know he and Jack were actually separate beings, and as far as he was concerned, it needed to stay that way. At least, until Jack was ready to reveal everything.

The woman doing tech stepped away, giving Jack a thumbs-up. She left the room, and it was just the two of them. Alone.

"I've never worn one before, what's it like having a microphone on?" Anti asked, stepping out of the shadows. Jack jumped, causing the demon (or glitch, as he was sometimes referred to as) to smile. They got along in real life, but they weren't best buddies. It satisfied Anti to creep Jack out.

"They're interesting," Jack replied, taking a deep breath in. Anti quietly nodded. His heart was pumping faster, harder. He was done hiding his feelings.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Jack rose an eyebrow.

"Go ahead."

"If you could pick any person in the world to have a relationship with, who would you choose?" Jack thought, Anti trying not to visibly bite his tongue.

"I don't know, why?" Anti opened his mouth to speak, but then his ears tingled; a sign someone was coming. Giving an apologetic smile, he lept back into the shadows as the door opened.

"We're ready for you, Jack," the woman said. Nodding, Jack shot Anti an apologetic glance, then walked out the door. As soon as they were gone, Anti crept out of the shadows and settled into a chair. Jack had rigged a laptop for him to host a stream of the panel, which meant he could contently watch everything that happened.

At first, everything went fine. There was pressure rising in Anti, mostly because he hadn't been able to start his confession, but it didn't matter. Not until Jack jokingly proposed to Mark.

To his credit, Anti knew it was a joke. Jack and Mark had insisted on remaining just friends. Even so, it still hurt when he got down on one knee, Anti biting his hand to prevent himself from screaming.

Slamming the laptop shut in frustration, Anti paced for ten minutes, letting the tears come. He felt silly and stupid for crying, but everything hurt. Jack had never shown that much appreciation for him, so why should his feelings be mutual? Why should he care at all?

At first, he considered walking out of the building, following the road until he winked out of existence. It was possible, and Anti had considered it once or twice before, but he eventually decided against it. Jack had made him hurt...so he was going to make him bleed.

Jack eventually returned, bubbly and laughing from a joke Wade had told him. Anti fixed his face into a smile, the tears long gone, and waited. 

"Did you have fun?" Jack nodded, calming himself down.

"It was awesome. But..." The others were about to return. Understanding this, Anti turned invisible, a trait he never got to use for fun.

This was another thing that made him angry. Mark, Bob, and Wade were understanding, yet Anti couldn't introduce himself to them. Jack didn't want to be seen with him. Another sign.

Wade and Bob were driving themselves to the airport. Mark was heading back home with Jack and Anti, and they would probably chat for hours on end. Well, Jack and Mark would, at least. Anti would sit in his room and pout like a broken teenager until Mark left.

"I'm walking home," Anti whispered in Jack's ear. Jack squeezed his wrist, a sign he understood. Nodding, he started walking.

By the time Anti got home, Jack and Mark were about five minutes away. The tears on his face were dried, and he was ready. All he had to do was pull the trigger.

Anti went through every knife in the house, looking for the one he wanted; the knife Jack had created him with. It took longer then he expected, and by the time the knife had been retrieved, Jack and Mark were pulling up.

Anti walked back to the kitchen, staring at the blade. The sadness was rising in him. He had been "off" for a while, and Jack had pushed him over the edge.

The door opened. Jack and Mark were laughing together, but they quieted down when they saw Anti standing there. His back was to them, the knife in his hands.

"Anti?" Jack sounded confused; he had every right to be. "What's wrong?" Anti slowly turned around, looking at them both. Mark looked confused, but Anti ignored him; he was an innocent bystander in a case of wrong place, wrong time.

Anti rose the knife to his throat. It sat in his scar, ready to go. Jack's eyes widened. He had been so happy, and now...

"Jack..." Anti wanted to tell him everything, how much he loved him, but he knew it wouldn't work. He could feel the light in him being squeezed, being snuffed. Taking one last look at the man he loved, Anti raked the knife across his throat. A single phrase escaped him right before he did.

_I'm scared._

Everything happened in slow motion. Anti tumbled to the ground, the knife falling from his hand. Jack rushed toward him, horrified and sobbing. Mark remained still, not sure what to say or do. His mind was still processing everything.

Sound rushed back into Mark's ears. Jack was on the floor, cradling a dead Anti in his arms. The knife was on the floor, all of the blood from Anti's neck soaking the blade. Jack was muttering something Mark couldn't quite catch, but eventually, he grew louder.

"Why did you do this? Why...why did you cause yourself pain, Anti?" Then he figured it out. Anti's pupils had dilated when he had walked in, only to screw up again when Mark followed. It was jealousy, combined with years of pain and suffering. That's all it was.

"Jack...do you need anything?" Mark's words were soft and of good intentions, but they angered Jack. Not even looking over his shoulder, he snarled,

"I need you to leave and let me handle this." Mark didn't move, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Fury was rising in him. "I'm not going to commit suicide the second you leave, idiot!" Nodding, Mark left, the door shutting behind him.

Jack stood up. There was no blood anywhere aside from on the knife, which was a good thing. The knife could be washed, sanitized. Everything else...that would be a bigger challenge.

Anti was placed on Jack's bed. Wrapping the blankets tightly around him, Jack shut Anti's eyes, then took a deep breath. The next few days would be tough.

Mark texted him; he was standing on the curb, confused. Opening the door, Jack invited him in. Once they sat down, he explained everything. All Mark did was listen; no snide comments escaped him.

Jack waited a few days for his emotions to settle down. Mark offered to stay and help, but this offer was turned down. He went back to LA, waiting for a video to be posted.

One week after Anti had killed himself, Jack sat down on the floor of his studio, the black boards on the wall acting as a backdrop. They seemed too dark, too much, and after a few minutes of consideration, he ripped them down. They could be replaced.

The camera flickered on. Jack thought for a few seconds about what to say. He didn't even try to smile. Anti didn't deserve that.

"Hi, everyone. So..." Jack exhaled, tears rising in his stomach. "I know you're all probably pretty confused about why I've been gone for a week. Something's happened, and I just needed time to recover." He smiled, trying to form his next sentence. "It's...this needs some explaining, but...Anti's dead.

"I know that's really confusing, so allow me to explain. Anti wasn't just an alter ego of mine. He was a real demon, but he didn't really kill me. Last week, after the Markiplier panel, Mark and I came home and...he slit his throat, right in front of us." Jack waited a few seconds, letting the information sink in, not just for the future viewers, but for himself. "I've been taking time to adjust, and...everything's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere."

As expected, the internet exploded when the video was posted. At first, people didn't believe him. They thought the whole thing was an elaborate prank. Mark, seeing these things and having been there himself, made a video of his own. He told the viewers that even if he hadn't been there, he would have still believed Jack, and people needed to be more open-minded.

That night Jack walked back to his room. Anti was still lying there, still dead as a doornail. Seeing him, processing everything...that made Jack cry.

A small part of him had loved Anti. He should have seen the depression, the signs of a crush, but didn't. He felt terrible for not helping.

Jack had told the viewers he would be strong. He needed to keep that promise. Sitting down on his bed, he placed his head on Anti's chest and closed his eyes.

One of Jack's hands had blood on it. It was from Anti, and even though it had been a week, the blood had remained. However, he didn't care. As far as Jack was concerned, the blood could stay there forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment!
> 
> I wanted to say this in the story, but even though Anti is dead, he and Jack will see each other again in Jack's dreams. Couldn't find a place for it, but it's there.


End file.
